How to annoy the Akatsuki, tested by Sakura Haruno
by Nijihime
Summary: The title... pretty much says it all. Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

**How to annoy the Akatsuki, tested by Sakura Haruno**

_A/N: Okay, I was just randomly read fics when... I saw the most funny thing in the world! 100 ways to get killed by the Akatsuki by PeinSaku! And now... An idea struck me! I hope you like it! I don't own Naruto or the 100 ways to get killed by the Akatsuki.  
_

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Sakura Akatsuki stared blankly at the screen of her computer. Yes, she was an Akatsuki now. Wanna know how it happened? Well, here it is:

Pein invades Konoha. He beats Naruto's ass. Sakura steps in. Pein stops the whole invasion and kidnaps her. Nice, ne?

He later told her that the whole reason of the invasion was just to get her to join the Akatsuki. Why? Three reasons.

She beat Sasori (who was revived and was quite friendly with her) so she had to be strong.

She was a brilliant medical-nin (they needed one pretty bad)

Pain had a crush on her.

Aw, wasn't he the sweetest wittle God-complexed leader of a criminal organization with a questionable sanity? Sakura thought so too! But that wasn't what had captured her attention. No, it was a list.

A **100 ways to get killed by the Akatsuki** list. And, since nothing fun had happened for the last five months (excluding the time Hidan walked into a room with nothing but an apron on. It also gave everyone a good look of his 'two-unicorns-having-you/know/what' tattoo on his butt) she decided to give it a try. The first one was quite easy (at least for her!).

**1. Throw Sasori's puppets in the fireplace and claim that you couldn't find any firewood.**

So, she quietly made her way to Sasori's room. Good thing he was on a mission and of course the fact that none of the members locked their rooms. But, since they were all S-class mission-nins that probably wouldn't stop them anyway. Yeah, it's a good day to be a ninja. So, Sakura looked around the room. Even at 4.30 in the morning it was still creepy. Puppets and poison were everywhere! It was just... ew. Sakura grabbed ten puppets that were the closest to her any ran to the living-room. Itachi was already there (no surprise there. Did the guy even sleep? Apparently not) and was staring at her. Sakura gave a quick 'hi' and dumped the wooden toys into the fireplace.

''Sakura... Why did you just burn ten of Sasori's favorite puppets? He is going to kill you, Leader-sama's girlfriend of not. I suggest you find a good explanation for this.'' Itachi said blankly. Sakura thought, and thought, and thought...

''Can I blame it on Deidara?''

''He's on a mission with him. He'll know you're making things up.''

''Right. Hmmm, what about if I blame it on... Wait, can I just use the excuse that we had no firewood?'' the list suddenly plopped into Sakura's mind.

''We have firewood right here.'' Itachi pointed a little left to the fireplace. Jup, a whole shit-load of wood. Damn it... ''But if you get rid of it quickly you might be able to bet away with it.''

''Good idea! Can you burn it please?'' Sakura used her puppy dog face. Itachi sighed, but still used the Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu and burned the wood. Evil wood. Burn! Kehm... ''Thanks! Now let's just hope he buys it.''

''If he doesn't, I'm not gonna protect you.''

''You won't have to, that's why I have Pein-kun!'' Sakura cheered. Itachi sweat dropped and went back to reading his book.

''I'm telling you, he's going to figure it out.''

''Just shut it, okey! Yeez, you Uchihas with you're attitude problems and emo problems and pride problems...'' Sakura went into a rant. Itachi did the smartest thing he could think of and ignored her.

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**A week later**

''SAKURA, WHY THE HELL DID YOU BURN TEN OF MY PUPPETS?''

''Em... We ran out of wood...?''

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_A/N: Hehe, yeah... Read and Review!_


	2. 2 to 7

**How to annoy the Akatsuki, tested by Sakura Haruno**

_A/N: Sorry it took so long! But now, we are back and kicking!_

_Sakura: Oh joy. Niji-chan doesn't own Naruto, or the list '100 ways to get killed by the Akatsuki'._

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Sakura smiled to herself and read the next number on her list.

**2. Ask Deidara when the baby's due.**

Okay, let's just hope he would get as mad as Sasori was when Sakura burned his puppets. So, the kunoichi ran to the kitchen in which Deidara was drinking tea with Sasori. Perfect.

''Hey Deidara! When's the baby's due?'' Sasori and Deidara spit tea over each other and looked at her in utter shock. Well, they looked at the place she once stood at. Now there was just a puff of smoke.

''SAKURA!''

**3. Talk in third person like Tobi and when someone questions you about it, speak normal and deny it ever happened.**

''Hi Itachi-san! Sakura is happy to see you! Sakura is a good girl!'' Itachi stared at her. She giggled and ran of.

''Hello Kisame-san! Sakura-chan is a good girl!'' she greeted Kisame. He, like his partner, stared at her.

''Why the hell are you talking in third person kid?''

''ME? Talk in third person? Never! How dare you! PEIN-KUN!''

**4. Put speakers in all the air vents that lead to the members' rooms and play the Barney theme song over and over.**

Easier said then done. Sakura worked pretty hard to put speakers into 10 air vents. But in the end, it was wort it.

Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination  
And when he's tall  
he's what we call a dinosaur sensation

Barney's friends are big and small  
they come from lots of places  
after school they meet to play  
and sing with happy faces

Barney shows us lots of things  
Like how to play pretend  
ABC's, and 123's  
And how to be a friend

Barney comes to play with us  
Whenever we may need him  
Barney can be your friend too  
If you just make-believe him!

Their terrified faces made her smile. The work payed of!

''SAKURA!''

**5. Stare at the wall during an Akatsuki meeting. At the last five minutes of the meeting, state loudly to Pein, Madara, or whoever is speaking that you weren't paying attention and that they need to repeat the whole thing.**

''And so, as we see, the Bijuu must be hunted down and – Sakura are you even listening to me?'' Pein asked after an hour of a very annoying meeting. Everyone wanted it to end as fast as possible.

''Huh, what? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Can you repeat everything, Pein-kun?'' Sakura asked sweetly.

''As you wish. Now lets start again...''

''SAKURA!''

**6. Go up to Deidara in front of the entire Akatsuki and demand loudly why you found your underwear under his pillow**

''DEIDARA!'' Sakura screamed and ran to him at lunch. ''Why the hell is my underwear under your pillow?'' that got everyone's attention. Deidara started backing away from a very pissed of looking leader.

''I swear it wasn't me! Please have mercy!''

**7. Start singing "Dude Looks Like A Lady" every time Deidara walks in the room.**

As expected, Pein beat the living shit out of Deidara for daring to steal his girlfriend's underwear. So, when he walked into the living room Sakura started singing.

Cruised into a bar on the shore

Her picture graced the grime on the door

She a long lost love at first bite

Baby maybe you're wrong but you know it's alright

That's right

Backstage we're having the time

of our lives until somebody say

Forgive me if I seem out of line

Then she whippedd out of her gun

tried to blow me away

Dude look like a lady (4x)

Even before she could finish Deidara was chasing her around the Akatsuki hide-out, only for Pein to nearly kill him again. Sweet victory.

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_A/N: Hehe! That's it for now. See ya later! Oh and don't forget, REVIEW!_


	3. 8 to 14

**How to annoy the Akatsuki, tested by Sakura Haruno**

_A/N: Wow! 15 reviews, I'm honored! Thank you all! Now, the next chapter!_

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**8. Make fake charms and hang them all around the base. Claim that they keep the aliens away. Whenever one of the Akatsuki members says that aliens don't exist, run away screaming, "YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!"**

Sakura grinned. Oh man, this is gonna be fun!

''Sakura, why are there funny looking charms around here, yeah?''

''They keep the aliens away Deidara.''

''Aliens don't exist, yeah.''

''You're one of them!'' Sakura hit him with a pan and ran away.

**9. Whenever an Akatsuki member tells you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.**

''Sakura, you will capture the nine tails.'' Madara told her.

''Sure. Do you want fries with that?'' Madara and Pein stared at her funny.

**10. Replace Deidara's clay with regular play-dough.**

''What happened to you?'' Sasori asked his (very beat up) partner.

''Un. I couldn't fight because someone replaced my clay with **play-dough.**''

''…''

''SAKURA!''

**11. Paint Hidan's room pink and cover it with fairy stickers. Pay for it with Kakuzu's money.**

Sakura face palmed. Getting Kakuzu's money can be tricky. Unless if the old bastard keeps it under his pillow...

''I was right!'' Sakura yelled happily and ran to the store with a whole shit load of money.

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''WHO THE HELL PAINTED MY ROOM FUCKING PINK? IT LOOK'S LIKE A FUCKING FAIRY VILLAGE!''

''…''

''SAKURA!''

**12. Walk around wearing 3-D glasses and scream every time one of the Akatsuki reaches out towards you.**

Sakura walked around cheerfully... wearing 3-D glasses. She didn't have to wait that long. The moment Madara saw her, he tried to take the 'stupid thing' of. Sakura screamed and hit him with her baseball bat.

**13. Give Hidan the nickname 'fuzz bag'.**

''Hey Skank.''

''Hello... **fuzz bag.**'' Sakura ran away before Hidan could killed her.

**14. Pour clear liquid soap all over the hallway leading to the kitchen or dining area.**

Bam! Bam! Bam! Pow! BOOM! All of the Akatsuki members (excluding Madara, Pein, Konan and Sakura, 'cuz they're awesome like that) were lying on the hallway that led from the living room to the kitchen.

''Why is there soap on this hallway again?'' Itachi asked.

''…'' all of the Akatsuki thought really hard.

''UZUMAKI NARUTO!'' well, Sakura mused, at least they didn't suspect her. Poor, poor Naruto...

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_A/N: Hehehe, Read and Review? Pretty please? *puppy dog eyes* Come on! _


	4. 15 to 28

**100 ways to annoy the Akatsuki **

_A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry I've been MIA for so long... I don't own Naruto or any of the characters or the '100 ways to get killed by the Akatauki (That list of fantastic suicide ways belongs to the awesome and almighty PeinSaku who rocks)!_

**15. Tell Deidara that Hidan said he was gay. Tell Hidan that Deidara said he was a pansy. See which one attacks the other first.**

''Oi, Deidara!'' Sakura yelled and ran to the girly looking man.

''What yeah?''

''Hidan said you were gay!''

''… Hidan, you are going down, un!''

-BEFORE THAT-

''Hidan!''

''What bitch?''

''Deidara said you were a pansy!''

''Deidara you fuck! You are going to get killed!''

**16. Ask Zetsu if he has any weed killer and/or a weed hacker.**

''Hey Zetsu! Do you have any week killer? I need it to kill you!''

''Sakura, **you little **come back here!''

**17. Write 'Sasuke wuz here' on their faces when they're asleep.**

Oh that was funny. Seeing Itachi wake up and look in the mirror was priceless.

''SAKURA!''

**18. Put laxatives in all their food.**

''Oh... Will you guys get out of the WC anytime soon? I need to use it!''

''SAKURA, WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THE RAMEN?''

''Nothing...''

**19. When Kisame's drunk, tell him that Itachi has more sake and 'accidentally' lock the door when he confronts Itachi in his room.**

''Grugwahh. And then... The big whazam wuz there! And Jesus wuz a brotha... Wher's mah sake?''

''Hey fish-face! Itachi has more sake in his room!''

''Woha! Thunks kiddo!''

-INSIDE-

''Itach' mah bitch! Whur's tha sake? We huve to obay tha sake!''

''Okay... I'm getting out of here... Why is the door locket? SAKURA!''

**20. Walk up to Hidan in front of the entire Akatsuki with you toothbrush hanging out of your mouth and thank him for letting you use his toothbrush.**

''Yo Hidawn! Thanks fowr letwn ma us ur toothbush! (translates as: Yo Hidan! Thanks for letting me use your toothbrush!)''

''… Ho shit. Runaway, the fucking leader is trying to kill me! Oh my fucking Jashin, bitch!''

**21. Ask Kakuzu if you can take a picture of him to practice throwing kunai at a target.**

''Hey Kakuzu! Can I have a picture of you?''

''Sure, why?''

''So I can throw Kunai at it.''

''You have three seconds to run.''

**22. Run across the room and hit Itachi on the back of his head and blame it on Tourette's.**

''CHARGE!'' Sakura screamed and hit Itachi with her almighty pan, knocking him out cold for two hours.

''Sakura-chan... Why did you hit Itachi with a pan?''

''Blame it on Tourettle's, Pein-kun. Tourettle's.''

''Right... - -' ''

**23. Put on a Kakuzu-style mask and claim that you're allergic to idiots. Sneeze loudly whenever you come around one of the Akatsuki members you don't like.**

''Sakura, put that thing of! It's hideous!''

''I can't Madara! I'm allergic to idiots!'' just then, Hidan came by.

''ACHOO; ACHOO, ACHOO!''

''What's with her?''

''She's allergic to idiots.''

''Oh...'' both Madara and Sakura waited for a moment... ''OH! YOU LITTLE BITCH, GET BACK HERE!'' Hidan yelled after a retreating (yet still giggling her head off) Sakura.

**24. Take out the screws in Pein's chair before a meeting and see what happens.**

BAM, BAM BOOM! Pein was on the floor, wondering what just happened and why Sakura was laughing. Oh, right.

''SAKURA-CHAN!''

''Meep! Runaway!''

**25. Put a thong and a bra in Konan's room and congratulate her on getting laid.**

''Congrats Konan-chan! I found these thongs and a bra in your room! You must have gotten laid!''

''…''

''… Ho boy.''

**26. Interrupt an important meeting and drag Pein out to come watch paint dry with you.**

''And now all we have to do is capture the-''

''Pein-kun, come watch paint dry with me!'' and he was dragged out by his girlfriend.

''… So what now?''

''Duno. Wanna sing Disney?''

**27. Stab Hidan in the back when he isn't looking and say Tobi (who is actually Madara) did it.**

STAB, STAB!

''What the fuck bitch?''

''Madara did it!''

''You bastard!''

''Huh?'' Madara was confused.

**28. While Tobi (who is actually Madara) runs away from Hidan, scream "Run, Forest, Run!"**

''RUN, FOREST, RUN!''

''SAKURA! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!''

''Haha, like if you could! Bye, bye and have fun with Hidan!''

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_A/N: Hehe, I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had fun writing this! Read and Review!  
_


	5. 29 to 40

**How to annoy the Akatsuki, tested by Sakura Haruno**

_A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to update, but I've been super busy. So, enjoy and thank you all for the reviews!_

**29. Fling rubber bands at Madara when he isn't looking.**

FLING, FLING, FLING. Madara turned to face the pink haired prankster.

''Sakura, why are you flinging rubber bands at me?''

''Emm... You're hair is messy and I thought you might need them?''

''Run, Haruno, run.''

**30. Deflate a hidden whoopee cushion and then yell loudly, "Damn, Kisame!"**

!

''Damn, Kisame!''

''SAKURA, I'M GONNA KILL YA... Right after I get killed by Leader-Sama.''

**31. Open a brand new cup of instant ramen in front of Kakuzu, eat one noodle, and then throw it away. See what he does.**

Kakazu burst into tears the moment the almost full cup of ramen hit the trash. He looked away... only to come face to face with the penis of the once again naked Hidan.

''I hate you, Sakura.''

''Oh, I love you too!''

**32. When all the Akatsuki are standing in a line, shove the one at the end of the line and watch the domino effect take place.**

BAM, BAM, BAM, KABOOM, *glass breaking*, POW, *cat screaming*, KABLAM!

''… Ha ha ha aha ha aha ha aha aha ha aha aha ah!'' Sakura laughed her ass of.

''SAKURA!''

**33. Break all the windows and tell Pein that birds did it.**

''Sakura-chan, what is this?''

''Broken windows?''

''Yes. Did you do it?''

''No, the birds did it.''

''How stupid do you think I am? Fairies did it.''

''…''

**34. Demand to know if the real reason Orochimaru was kicked out of Akatsuki was because of the pictures of Sasuke in his bedroom.**

Sakura was traumatized when the answer to her question was a simple: 'Yes. How did you know?'

**35. Tell Hidan you're writing a book called _How to Kill Someone Without Trying_. Ask him how it feels to do that everyday with his face.**

''Hey Hidan!''

''What now you damn brat?''

''I writing a book called _How to Kill Someone Without Trying._ Any advice?''

''Hell no. Why?''

''Well, seeing as you do it everyday with your face...''

''I'M GONNA KILL YA!''

**36. Yell loudly that you the know the real reason why Sasori keeps so many puppets in his room.**

''I know why Sasori keeps so many puppets in his room! It because -'' at that she was cut of by the hand of a blushing puppet master.

**37. Fire Deidara's clay in an oven and see if it blows up.**

!

''Okay, who put Deidara's clay in an oven?'' Madara asked and face palmed. ''Why do I even ask?''

''SAKURA!''

**38. Shave you legs in the kitchen sink while they're all eating.**

Sakura happily hummed, shaving her legs and completely ignoring the horrible sounds of barfing.

''SAKURA!''

**39. Ask Kisame if his mother tried to eat him when he was a baby. When he looks confused or says no, say that you thought sharks ate their babies.**

''Hey Kisame!''

''What, kid?''

''Did your mother try to eat you when you were a baby?''

''No.''

''I thought sharks eat their babies.''

''How dare you! My mother was a saint!''

''… Okay, didn't expect that.''

**40. Yell loudly that you know Pein's darkest secret. Threaten to tell the entire Akatsuki if he doesn't do what you want.**

''Pein-kun, I know your darkest secret.'' Sakura grinned and Pein palled.

''What? How?''

''That doesn't matter. Now... I want you to do what I want or I'm telling the whole Akatsuki!''

''What do you want me to do?'' he asked.

''I want you to... *************************************.** Got it?''

''What do we start?'' now it was Peins turn to grin.

_A/N: Hehehe... the ********************************** part is for you to make up. Read and Review!_


	6. 41 to 50

**How to annoy the Akatsuki, tested by Sakura Haruno **

_A/N: Hey guys! *dodges random stuff* Yeah, I haven't updated in a while... but I swear, I had work and studying to do! *dodges a car* Anyway, enjoy! I don't own Naruto or 100 ways to get killed by the Akatsuki! *dodges a boat* Holy- Runaway!_

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**41. Hold up a picture of yourself to Kakuzu and ask, "Have you seen this person?"**

''Kakuzu! Have you seen this person?'' Sakura asked and held a picture of herself in front of Kakuzu.

''Hm... Sakura Haruno – Akatsuki, S-class missing nin, #1 medical ninja, wanted for betraying Konoha and being smexy-fine... holy cow! Worth 100000 ryo! Kid you're comm' with me to the nearest police office!''

''You do realize it isn't real... right?'' Sakura asked when she was tied up and swung over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes.

''I may... but they don't.''

''Okay, plan B. PEIN-KUN, HELP! Sexual harassment!''

''Banshō Ten'in!''

**42. Have loud conversations with yourself in the middle of a meeting.**

_''Sakura-chan, is it time to take over the world yet?''_

''Amu-chan! Not yet, we need to be patient.''

_''You've been telling me that since we were 5 you stupid girl! Let me out and we shall rule the world and make all humans-''_

''Sakura-chan, yeah? Why are you talking like that?'' Deidara asked her, a little scared.

''Hell no! Pinky's got a split personality like Zetsu too!'' Hidan yelled and pointed a finger at her.

''Idiots, no! Amu-chi is my friend... that happens to live inside me.''

_''And when I finally get out, we shall make everyone love Shugo Chara even if most fans were totally disappointed by the not really Tadamu or Amuto ending!'' *_

''Don't forget Naruto and Naruto Shippuuden!''

_''Of course, muahahahaha! And if they will not... we'll make them watch all One Piece episodes... backwarts!'' _the darker side of the girl screamed and caused everyone to edge away from her.

**43. Put Hidan's stuff in Deidara's room and vice versa. See how long it takes them to figure it out.**

To Sakura's surprise, it actually took them both a week to figure it all out. But when they did... all hell was broken loose.

''Pansy!''

''Dick!''

''At least I have one!''

''Man-whore!''

''I know you are, but what am I?''

...they fought for two weeks straight.

**44. Fill a cleaned-out empty bottle labeled 'Sasori's Poison No. 9' with water and drink from it in front of the Akatsuki. Tell them that is gives a better kick than sake and ask if they want some.**

''Sakura, what in the name of world domination are you drinking?''

''It's Sasori's Poison Madara! It gives a better kick then sake.''

''Cool, gimmie some of that.'' Kisame yelled and took a bottle of poison... but this bottle really had poison in it.

''No no no! Don't drink that! It's a drug that's worse than Viagra!'' Sasori and Sakura tried to warn him... but it was too late.

**45. Put spiders in Deidara's bed before he goes to bed and see if he screams.**

''Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!'' Deidara cried.

''What?'' Sakura and Konan yelled at once when they burst into the room. Because Sakura's room was currently burned to the ground (everyone suspected someone else) she shared with Konan. The older woman didn't trust anyone with her best friend, especially not Pein.

''I-i-i-i... had a nightmare...''

''What about?'' Sakura asked, a little disappointed he wasn't scared of her spiders.

''Sasori raping...''

''Oh my God-'' Sakura started.

''Yes?'' Pein asked and stuck his head in the room.

''Not you Pein. Anyway Deidara, so you had a nightmare about Sasori raping you?'' Konan asked boredly.

''No! He was raping Itachi! I wasn't his bitch anymore!'' the poor blonde cried.

''Wasn't expecting that...'' Sakura, Konan and Pein sweatdropped.

**46. Superglue money to the floor in Kakuzu's room. See how many times he tries to get it.**

Sakura, being the oh so brilliant evil genius, decided to spice things up a little, so she glued money to the floor of a pool. What our heroine wasn't expecting was that she, with the help of Kisame, Zetsu, Itachi, Sasori and Deidara, would have to pull and bring back to life a nearly drowned Kakuzu... 199 times.

''Make that 200!'' Sasori yelled at her when he pulled Kakuzu out of the water.

''That's got to be a new record.'' Itachi shock his head.

''Why do we even have a pool?'' Deidara asked.

''Blame **fucking pinky** over there. She wanted to **display her body in a bikini **more often.''

''Guilty as charged.'' Sakura sighed, making everyone look at her strangely and nosebleed.

**47. Freeze rocks in water bottles. Put them in random Akatsuki members' bags.**

''Ow... how in the hell can scrolls be so damn heavy, yeah?''

''Because those aren't scrolls. They're frozen rocks in a bottle.'' Sasori informed his partner.

''What the hell, un? Who would do that?''

''I'll give you one guess.''

''Why am I even asking, yeah? SAKURA!''

**48. Steal one of Sasori's puppets and use ventriloquism to talk through it until Sasori notices.**

''You... I know where you live.'' Sakura said in a creepy voice and pointed the dolls hand at Kisame who ran away.

''You will die in seven says!'' the doll screamed at Zetsu, who also made a run for it.

''I'm the little girl from the movie Ring... I've been waiting for you...'' she said to Sasori... making him have a heart attack. ''What is this, Death Note?'' Sakura grumbled and threw the doll away.

**49. When Pein states that he is Kami-sama, laugh and say that he tells the best jokes in the world.**

''Sakura-chan, what are you doing?'' Pein asked as he walked into the kitchen.

''I'm praying.''

''To me?''

''Of course not! I'm praying to anyone who's out there so that he/she or it will finally kill Hidan.''

''But I'm Kami-sama.''

''Buahahahahahaha! You tell the best jokes in the world! If you were God, my boobs would be the size of huge melons and I'd be a Neko girl by now.''

''I'm still working on that.''

''...''

**50. Cry very loudly and when asked why you are crying, say you had a nightmare about Kisame's face and it came true.**

''Waaaaaaa! Waaaaaaaaa! Weeeeeeeeeee!'' Sakura cried her eyes out.

''What happened?'' Madara asked her, running into the kitchen still in his pajamas.

''What's with Pinky?'' Hidan asked, a little worried.

''Did one of you dumbasses try to rape her?'' Konan growled.

''Typical!'' Sasori growled. ''Leader-sama is gone for a whole week and something just has to happen to brat over here.''

''He's going to kill all of us!'' Deidara started to be dramatic, Itachi and Konan were trying to calm Sakura down, Zetsu and Kakazu where nowhere in sight and Kisame just walked into the kitchen. Sakura started to wail louder.

''That's it! Kisame raped Sakura!'' Madara concluded.

''N-n-n-no! I had a-a-a-a nightmare a-a-about Kisame's face... and it came true!'' Sakura cried a river.

'''Should have known it wasn't anything serious.'' everyone sighed in relief.

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_* yeah, I stole Amu Hinamori from Shugo Chara. Though Amu isn't actually a bad girl, I just put her in here because they both have pink hair and she could be Sakura's split (evil) personality.  
_

_A/N: Anyways, read and review!_


	7. 51 to 60

******How to annoy the Akatsuki, tested by Sakura Haruno**

_Dear God, I am SO SORRY. But you guys won't believe the misfortune I have! First, I have a major writers block. Then my computer crashed for some unknown reason. Then, when it was finally fixed, my baby cousin spilled apple juice all over it and we barely saved it. So, yeah. Enjoy this very late chapter! As you probably know by now, I do not own Naruto or the 100 ways to get killed by the Akatsuki._

**51. In front of all the Akatsuki members, loudly ask Itachi if you can borrow his makeup.**

''Hey, 'Tachi?'' Sakura asked innocently in the middle of one of the brakes during meetings. Itachi looked her up and down suspiciously: this girl had been causing trouble for them a lot lately.

''What is it, Sakura?'' he asked finally.

''Can I borrow your make up? I'm all out of mine and Konan-nee-chan doesn't have the colors I like...''

''Run. Run, like the wind, Haruno.''

''Meep!''

**52. Steal Deidara's scope and hide it in one of Sasori's puppets.**

''Hey, guys, yeah? Where's my scope?'' Deidara asked.

''Oi, Deidara?'' Sasori called while walking into the living room. ''Would you stop hiding your stuff in my puppets?'' he asked irritatedly while holding up the missing scope.

''So it was you, un!'' the blonde (she)male yelled as he tackling his partner. ''I was beginning to think Sakura stole it!''

_- Meanwhile, in the room of Sakura Akatsuki, First Lady of Amegakure -_

Sakura sneezed loudly. ''Weird.'' she muttered before shrugging and going back to her Shoujo manga. She briefly wondered if Deidara already found his scope. Nah, she decided, too soon. Though she did wish they would stop all the racket downstairs. Damn these annoying men that would probably molest her if Pein-kun wasn't there...

**53. While Sasori is away on a mission, tell Kakuzu that he gave you permission to sell the puppets in his room for money.**

''Hey, Kakuzu!'' Sakura called cheerfully while skipping towards the masked man. ''Sasori says you can sell his puppets!''

''Wasn't Sasori on a mission?''

''He told me via e-mail.''

''We have e-mail?''

''Listen, do you want some easy money or not?''

''Yes ma'am, sorry ma'am.''

- Two days later -

When Sakura saw a very pissed off looking Sasori stomping her way, she quickly finished her banana and ran for dear life, but not before throwing the banana peel over her shoulder. She couldn't help a victorious smile when she heard a loud 'THUMP' and a furious call of her name.

**54. Bribe Kakuzu with a lot of money to kiss Hidan. If he does it, claim that you forgot you didn't have any money. If he doesn't do it, call him a pansy.**

''Kakuzu dear~'' the pinkette called sweetly. Kakuzu, being the smart man he was, turned on his heels and made a run for it. The girl was anticipating it and tackled him before he could get too far. ''Kiss Hidan, damn it!''

''No!''

''Do it you pansy!''

''I don't wanna!''

''Dear Lord, are you actually crying? Shit, dude.''

**55. Tell Hidan that his God visited you in a dream and that Jashin-sama wants him to do your laundry.**

''Hey, Hidan, Jashin-sama visited me in my dreams. He wants you to do my laundry for the rest of the year.''

''Since when do you fucking believe in Jashin-sama?''

''Since I became so fucked up, you goddamn man-whore. Fuck, keep up with the time, bitch.''

''… GODDAMN IT BITCH, CURSE AT ME AGAIN! It makes you fucking hot, seriously!'' Hidan cried happily while trying to figure out how to get Sakura to marry him or at least screw his brains out, whichever came sooner.

**56. Cut off Deidara's ponytail and haul ass outta there.**

''Hey look, Michael Jackson's ghost!''

''Sakura, how dumb do you think I am, un?''

''Em... look, a distraction?''

''WHERE?'' Deidara turned around wildly, only to hear a soft 'click' and suddenly, he didn't feel the weight of his ponytail anymore.

Meanwhile, Sakura ran for her life, laughing and yelling: ''Sucker!''

**57. When walking past Hidan, Pein, or Madara, randomly burst into laughter and then walk away like nothing happened.**

''BWAHAHAHAHA (cough) ahahahahhahahaha! Ahahaha...'' Sakura wiped a single tear from her eyes as her laughter died down, only to receive a 'WTF?' look from Madara.

**58. Blow up all the toilets in the base and blame it on Deidara.**

''Deidara, just because Sakura-chan cut off your hair there is no need to take it out on our toilets!'' Pein growled threateningly as he dragged a very beat up Deidara towards one of the cells reserved for 'Thing-about-what-you've-done' punishment.

Deidara was about to object, saying Sakura lied when she rolled all of the blame on him, but he closed his mouth, figuring the Leader would believe his girlfriend even if she claimed the sky was green, pigs flew and Pein's own hair wasn't orange but violet.

**59. Set off all the fire safety sprinklers while the Akatsuki are asleep.**

''I swear to God – no, not you Pein-kun – I didn't mean for it to end up like this.'' Sakura said sheepishly as she received numerous glares. Turned out, once the sprinklers were turned on, they weren't as easily turned off, since Kakuzu was a cheap old bastard who bought the crappiest sprinklers in the world. Then Hidan had lost it and tried to 'fix' it. And so they found themselves like this, standing outside their flooded lair still in their pajamas.

''So, what now?''

''Think Orochimaru would let us crash with him for a while?''

**60. Blow an air horn in a megaphone and run like hell.**

''**Oh come on**, Sakura sweetheart, we're not **going to kill** you! We just want to **rip you to shreds!**'' Zetsu called as he and most of the other members chased the girl around the lair for ruining their water-ballet dancing practice with her damned horn and megaphone.

''In your dreams, Plantface!'' Sakura screamed over her shoulder as she ran fullspeed, while the men in tutus followed. If she wasn't in so much danger, she would have been laughing her ass off.

_Reviews make me the happiest girl alive~!_


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